Congratulations! You’re Engaged! Now What?
- Shana Bryn
- Mar 10, 2021
- 5 min read
Oh my goodness! Congratulations on your engagement! I still remember the floating feeling where all I felt like I could do was twirl in circles. My heart was so filled with love being surrounded by family when Cody proposed.
That floating feeling lasted for a couple of weeks because we waited to tell our friends and extended family. Mainly because we got engaged while we were abroad and then went on a cruise the next morning. The lack of cell service and intentional choice to wait to share the news really let us just relish in the moment.
I am so glad we did this because when we got back, that overwhelming feeling set in. We weren’t planning to get married for another two years, but I was already worried about not getting the location and vendors that I wanted. There was no reason to feel this way since I hadn’t even started looking! The sheer panic was just me trying to control and plan without knowing where to start. I wanted everything to be perfect.
Whether you’re a type A or B person, there is a lot to do. But where to start? I had been dreaming of this day since I was little, never knowing what the guy looked like at the end of the isle, but knowing I wanted a magical garden experience. Now that I knew the most important detail, my husband to be, I was so excited to see it all come together. Cody had one request, that it wasn't too pink. So I dialed it back. I also showed him everything, except for my dress, so that I knew he would like it.
I figured I would try to help reduce your own panic by helping guide you by how I planned our special day. Everyone has their own style and personality, so what worked for me probably won't work for everyone. I do hope that you can find at least one thing through this series that you feel brought some reassurance to your own process of planning.
But before I go into detail, one piece of advice I hope you take from this series of posts is this; Step back, sit down with your fiancé, look at each other, and enjoy this new status change in your relationship. The time is fleeting and you will be so distracted by planning that you’ll have many moments when you wonder why you’re going through all of this stress. “Should we elope? Have an intimate ceremony with just parents and siblings?” That will certainly be a question posed various times. So, be sure to take this time together regularly. It will remind you that you are marrying your best friend and that the day is all about you, not the details.
Now that you have this mental break and reminder, an organized list or planner comes in handy. Being the extreme planner that I am, I made myself a checklist on my computer and went form there. I had helped a few friend’s plan theirs so I felt prepared. In case you are looking for a binder, I have provided a few options here.
I knew that having a wedding planner would be helpful for me since we were having a Florida wedding. At the time that I was planning I was living in various states (I moved around a lot). Also, I didn’t want my mom to carry the brunt of the work. If you are looking for someone in south Florida, Joni Scalzo is fantastic! She helped keep us organized but also helped us recognize that not everything had to be done right away, easing my control.
When it came to the planning itself, the best advice I have is to think of the ambiance you want to create and pick a venue form there. It was important for me that the venue speaks for itself. I didn’t want to have to over decorate. That might not be the case for you. Instead, you may want a blank canvas that you can design however you want. There are many types of places to consider including a ballroom, hotel, restaurant, museum, barn, park, beach, or backyard.
The reason I suggest finding your venue first is because they may have suggestions for vendors that they like and work well with. This will help narrow down the endless catering, music, and décor options. My venue had a required list because it is a historical site. Knowing that upfront saved me hours of searching on my own.
There are a few things to do when picking your venue:
What is your overall vision? The venue itself has a personality of it’s own. Some will be white with modern clean lines, others are rustic with wood features. If the venue matched your vision it will be easier to imagine yourself here the day of.
Consider the general location. Are you having a destination wedding? Do you want it to be near an airport for those traveling from out of town? What hotel or airbnb options are available? It will be nice of you to consider the accessibility and financial flexibility with food and housing for those who are coming in from out of town.
Make a quick guest lists. This won’t be a final number, but ask your parents, grandparents, etc. who is important for them to have there. You’ll want to share with them your own vision of the day regarding who you want there. It will also be helpful to discuss flexibility with invites. If you find a venue that fits fewer people than your original list, you want to be sure that you and your family are comfortable with narrowing down the list.
Discuss the Budget. Some venues cost more than others. The venue and décor can cost a lot. To stay in budget you may need to look for something different or choose one that requires less flowers etc. You will have a lot of other vendors to pay and you don’t want to regret going with the venue you pick due to resulting budget concerns.
Ask the venue what is included. Some venues offer full service which drives up the price, but it allows you to know upfront what the total cost is likely to be for flowers, food, and rentals. This could help you stay in budget. If they do offer catering, remember to calculate in tax and tips.
Discuss date options. You’ll want to make sure that the dates you are considering are available at the venues you are looking at. Picking a specific date may or may not be important to you. Maybe you have flexibility in it being on a weekend vs. during the week. Some venues and vendors do discounts based on the date.
There are a few miscellaneous considerations too. When you pick a date, consider the weather at that location. Is there AC or heat? Any covered parking? If the wedding is planned for outside, what is the backup plan for bad weather? In Florida we have hurricane season, so we wanted to make sure it was before the typical storms brew.
When you go to look at the venues, picture yourself there the day of. Think about taking your photos and how you will feel during your first look. This will help to again remind you that you are there for a specific purpose.
Lastly, get to know the staff that you will be working with. They will be there the day of your wedding and the ones who will be your best resource, next to a wedding planner if you decide to have one. I would say they are equally as important as the planner will help you stay organized and the venue director will have final say on what you want to do that day.
Sticking to my first advice, I am going to leave it there. Keep an eye out for the next blog on finding your perfect dress!
Happy planning and congratulations!!!
xoxo,
Shana Bryn
Disclaimer
*All product images come from designer's or seller's sites.*
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