Last week I went wedding dress shopping! But this time not for me. It's for my sister! She got engaged on July 4th to her longtime boyfriend of 12 years and we are all so excited. They are high school sweethearts. How cute is that?!
When she came out to visit and meet her baby niece, I wanted to also do something special for her. That's when I thought of going wedding dress shopping. Since it wont be as easy for me to go to Florida for shopping or wedding planning, at least I could be there for her first time trying on dresses.
She and I have very different styles, although eventually she ends up shopping in my closet (which she actually did on this trip). While I offered for her to wear mine, I knew quickly she needed to go through the same process that almost every bride has to experience when finding their perfect dress.
Choosing a wedding dress can be one of the more daunting tasks of wedding planning. If you are like me, you have known exactly what you wanted, down to the seam and last pearl (or so I thought). It is also totally okay if you have never thought about what it looks like. Even with knowing what I wanted, it took a full year four different stores, hours of online searching for different designers and stores, and trying on every silhouette before I knew I had the dress on.
There are so many suggestions and blogs on how to find the perfect dress that are fantastic reads. Purchasing a wedding dress is not the same as walking into the mall and finding a summer dress. There is a lot of pressure, cost, and forever photos involved. That is why there is so much advice on how to find your dress.
I started reading those blogs and looking at wedding dresses before I even had an engagement ring, honestly, before I even knew Cody. I have always had a love for wedding dresses. I have books filled when sketches from when I was little of what I thought I wanted my dress to look like. Most of those have the typical 80’s puffy sleeves and Cinderella ball gown. Very Disney! Little did I expect that I would end up choosing one that is the total opposite.
It’s not surprising though! My style was influenced by what I was exposed to. I had to do my own modern day research and try on sessions to narrow down what I liked. In the end, I was so happy with the dress I wore the day of our wedding.
Here are my suggestions based on what I found helped me the most.
Dress Details
Overall Shape
Styles are determined by the silhouette, length, sleeves and back and neck. Consider what parts of your body you want to accentuate and cover up. There is also a lot of creativity in dresses today. There are options for temporary sleeves, an extra layer of skirt, or pants.
Details
There are various detail options of crystals that are small and large, beading, pearls, lace, and sequins. The fabric is commonly impacted by the detail because of the weight and ability to sew on it.
Color
The shades of white are almost endless in options. Different designers use different shades. There is also now the option for pink, blue, purple, yellow, black. There is something for every type of bold bride out there.
Style and Mood
Be true to your own personality: Do you have a bohemian, 1950’s, or fairy princess flair? It is easy to pick based on what you think a wedding dress should look like. When it comes to the day of though, there will be a lot of eyes on you and wearing something that is aligned with your personality will help you feel more confident the day of.
Ambiance of Wedding
When you were looking at venue’s you were deicing on a location and an overall feel. If you are having a hot outdoor wedding, you may want something with thinner and less fabric. If it is in a modern museum maybe you want a sleek look. Maybe a garden wedding calls for some fairy wings.
Cost
Set a Budget
I know how tempting it is to try on dresses out of budget. When looking and trying on dresses it can feel like monopoly money because the price tags are so new to us and the wedding itself feels magical. At the end of the day, it is real money. You don’t want to risk falling for a dress that would be a budget bust. Stay within your budget and don’t let the stylist show you anything outside of it.
Cost
The cost of the dress will likely be the most daunting. There is so much variability within each designer. This is because the fabric, details, and production time vary. While a dress by one designer may be out of budget, there may be another designer with a similar dress that is cost effective.
Accessories and Tailoring
Some stores include the cost of hemming and sizing, while others may include a veil. Ask what the costs are for any anticipated additional pricing. You will also want to remember that you will be purchasing shoes and potentially jewelry.
Day of Try On
Choosing a Store
When choosing a store, consider where you want to get your dress. If you are planning a destination wedding, do you want to bring it with you or have it already there? Narrowing it down will help you chose which stores to call. I suggest calling to see if they have the styles, designs, and budget you are looking for.
Be Prepared with Snacks and Water
The movies show us the experience of picking a dress is filled with smiles and toasting Champagne. Some stores offer the Champaign but many don't due to wanting to keep the dresses from having spills. I suggest eating a full meal before and bringing a water bottle with you. A hangry bride is no fun and you’ll have a hard time enjoying your experience.
Bring Shoes
You may not have the exact shoes that you are panning to wear, but bring the approximate heal height. It will help you feel more into it and less like you’re playing dress up.
Consider who you bring with you: Do you want to have a lot of opinions or just your own? Everyone is different regarding how they make decisions. Choosing your dress can feel like a big one to make. When you are deciding on who you want to bring with you, make sure it is people who you trust and value the opinion of. If you feel it is important to have certain people there, but worry about being overwhelmed, maybe go on your own or with one other person, and once you have narrowed it down, bring your larger support group for a final show.
Bring Research but be Open-Minded
When you go in, bring your pictures or phone with your pinterest tags. Show the stylist what you have been looking at and try those on. Doing so will make you feel that you considered what you have been imagining. At the same time, be open minded. What you had your heart set on as a combination of details may not be what you end up feeling most confident in. Be open to suggestions from the stylist and the one person you trust the most to say what looks good on you.
Move Around
The dress may be beautiful, but can you move, sit, dance, hug, and raise your arms in it? Try doing everything you would normally. I made sure that I could dance/walk backwards since I knew that we would be dancing viennese waltz for our couples dance.
Most Important
Stop Looking Once You’ve Said Yes (and Paid)
Seriously! DON’T DO IT!!! I know how tempting it is. After our wedding I have looked at dresses, but I waited I actively avoided looking once I chose mine until the wedding occurred. I now look for blogging purposes or helping friends/family find their perfect dress. There are so many dresses out there, but there is a reason you chose the one you did. Stick with it and trust yourself.
I hope you have a fun time with this. This is an exciting moment and the dress will often make the whole wedding feel more real since it is the one tangible object you will see months before the big day. That is why I believe that dress shopping can feel overwhelming and emotional. We project all our hopes and desires about the wedding and marriage into the one physical object we get to touch, feel, and wear ahead of time.
Because of this emotional component, remind yourself that you are looking for something that you love, feel comfortable in, and will be happy to be wearing amidst all the activities that will be going on during the wedding itself.
xoxo,
Shana Bryn
P.S. If you are looking for a more detailed list of suggestions, Brides wrote an article about the 70 things to know.
P.P.S. I obviously didn't include pictures of my sister since those are still TBD until she finalizes her dress.
Comments